The Secret Diary of a Pregnant Bengali by Halima Khatun

Author:Halima Khatun
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: diverse romcom, romantic comedy, diverse read, chick lit, strong female protagonist, clean and wholesome romance
Publisher: Hayat House
Published: 2024-05-03T00:00:00+00:00

18th December, What now?

Seriously, what now?

I can’t sleep. My mind is doing somersaults in sync with H2’s constant acrobatics. I’ve been warned that a lot of nocturnal movement in the womb suggests that the baby will be active and awake at night when it’s born. As in, I won’t be able to get any sleep. That’s not on. I’m not getting much sleep now as it is. Surely, things should ease up after the baby comes?

M is sleeping soundly as ever. Despite delivering the news yesterday, he seems relatively at peace with things. Once he told me, he was visibly relieved. Gone was the five-mile stare. The look of death behind the eyes. It’s as though my relief upon hearing that baby H2 is okay has been transferred to M, while he passed on the stress about his current unemployment situation to me. It’s not a fair swap.

Yesterday was weird. We didn’t talk much. Instead, the TV provided all the noise for us. Daytime TV is so shit. It’s like it’s designed to get you off your arse and get to work. This is why, despite my very flexible work situation, I barely watch TV during daylight hours. It’s too depressing. Too much of a reminder that there are things to be done. There’s a whole world out there.

M, however, was engrossed. He has a particular penchant for gameshows. He was watching a show where people play a sort of arcade game. They choose which section from which to drop a counter in the hopes that it pushes out more. Counters equal pounds, apparently. We could do with some of them.

How is my husband sleeping so soundly when my mind is going crazy?

Maybe I was too understanding. Immediately after he delivered the news that he was fired without any further notice, I put my PR hat on. I cheered him along, saying things like: “It’ll be okay. You can just get on the job hunt. At least one of us is working!” That was a silly thing to say. I’m hardly working.

My God, how did it come to this? He should’ve stayed in his safe job. He should’ve put up with the crap from his manager. Don’t all of us have to at some point or other? I’ve had shit bosses in the past. I didn’t throw the towel in because of them. He should’ve done the responsible thing and stayed in permanent employment, rather than going for a risky contract. He played his card and it failed. It failed miserably.

Right, stop it. Stop it! Stop it right now! Anger breeds resentment, which breeds bitterness, more anger, and then life will be difficult. We’re not the arguing couple.

I just wish he’d told me. I could’ve helped. Obviously, I know sod-all about finance but I could’ve helped maybe on the people pleasing side of things? I could have suggested ways to get in his boss’ good books. I don’t know. I’ve just got a lot of feelings right now.

M is snoring. What is it, three, four ‘o’clock? I’ll check my phone.

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